Designer: manikka
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"what's going on?"

goshies. time for me to step out into the world and breathe.

i just realised that others are going through rough shits too. i mean, shits happen right? and they just let it show. hmmm-ness. to all you people who are hiding or showing your problems, stress and whatever-not. two words.

PLEASE FUCKING CHEER UP!

cause seeing all you people so sad and down makes me feel sad and down too sehs. T_T and it won't be pretty if i breakdown. so don't feel so depressed kayy? WOOOUH! talking about depression.. ju and i made a song for sap yesterday over the phone. =D

i know he would hate it if i blogged about it.
but, sorry kay sap dear? xD

sappy, sappy *clap clap*
happy, happy *clap clap*
sappy, happy *clap clap*
happy, sappy *clap clap*

sappy sappy don't depressed
sappy sappy don't be stressed
kick the chair and cut your hair
sappy has a bad nightmare!

ahahahahaa.


okie, sap's probably fuming by now. sorry kay hun? some things are uncontrollable. xD nyeh nyeh. and your blog right. so depressing can? tsk3. keh dah diam.


i want macdonald's pancakes!
somebody buy for me can? T_T

i'm like super uber duper hungry.
*stomach growls*
see? i told you so. T_T


blahs..
i'm so fucking sorry. cause i never knew that you were falling for me slowly yet surely.. now it just hurts me to see that my decision to stay single is hurting you. i don't know what to do. i don't want to know. it just seems so wrong. we all know what's going on. yet we act as though we know nothing in front of each other. ouh, you know what i'm talking about.


yes, i'm not over syamil yet. but i'm trying. have been trying. i know i'll get over him soon. soon enough. i've never been somebody to break people up on purpose. i'd never want to be her.

you:
my past. i know you regretted it. so did i. maybe all this regretting made me realise that we're just not meant for each other. all your friends know about me. all my friends know about you. that's as far as it goes. until you realise that what you're doing is not enough, we'll stay friends, nothing more.

you:
you've had a lot of bad luck with love these past few years. i don't want to add on to the list of heartbreaks you ever had... yes, i have feelings for you too. but i can't do anything about it. i won't. things just have to stay this way.. lay your heart to rest..

you:
we've done things that nobody knows about. nobody ever will. we're always in our own secret little world. and when i'm without you, i know that we can never be together ever again. it's hard to walk away, yet that seems to be the only thing that's right in all the wrong that we've been doing together.

you:
i love you.
yes. i do.



hahs. for all you know, those four paragraphs are just meant for one person. hehs. please, please don't go assuming situations if you don't know what i'm talking about. it makes me sick. you make me sick. yayy.

"at the top of my lungs..
i'm giving it back..."

~ mandy moore



BUT THEN AGAIN.
i don't know what love is.
hahas. never will.
no time for love. =)

ju + sap, i love you two so, so much. cause whenever i'm down, you two really know how to cheer me up sehs. i know we three have been a lot of rough shits together, but we've had some pretty fun time together, and these memories i'll cherish for the rest of my life. i'd never want to change anything.. cause if i do, maybe our friendship wouldn't be as strong as it is today. hahas.



then i came across the email of you sketching that sunrise for me.. when we would be out in the sea.. away from the bustling life that we would leave behind.. it'd only be me and you... forever.. only the two of us.. entangled in each other with the scent of your hair and the smell of the sea engulfing me.. we shared some pretty good memories didn't we? hehs.. =)


i don't deserve you.

ouh ouh ouh-ness!
remember to watch "a walk to remember" tonight on channel 5, at 7.30pm! haha. it's a must watch, really. =D


goodbye.

p/s: this is the last of illusions.. this is the final trace of innocence.. if i'm caught in the middle.. i know.. it would be.. the end of me..