Designer: manikka
Resources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

"just what we all need; more lies about a world that never was and never will be"

you know you've got everybody fooled.




thank you.

"my tea's gone cold
i'm wondering why
got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up window
and i can't see at all
and even if i could, it would all be grey
but your picture on my wall
it reminds me
that's it's not so bad
it's not so bad.."

~ dido


hmm..
so i finally told somebody.
and i regret doing so.
i'm supposed to keep my mouth shut.
go through everything alone.


could it be that i've fallen for him..? damn.



dream 1:
get a pink electric guitar. practise and master how to play the guitar. go jamming with samuel and sap. ahahah. perform for teachers' day 2007.

dream 2:
get those ballet sneakers. get into dance classes. learn breakdancing from haiqal. live through that illness. perform for teachers' day 2007 with an item that has ballet, contemporary and hip-hop.

dream 3:
get the results. fast.

these many dreams i still keep dear to my heart. i hope you'll help me fufill them. i think it was a sign when you found that guitar pick while we were walking. and i somehow feel it was supposed to be passed to me BY you.

feelings.
they can't be controlled.



i've made a decision, by the way. those four guys. all four of them. i'll reject all four of them. i'll ignore them. live my life alone. make the best of what is left.


i won't be sleeping tonight.
lack of judgement.
dammit.

AND.. like i've said before. there's more to me than meets the eye. i hate it when you guess [cause you always guess wrongly]. i hate it when you show me sympathy when i don't need it. i hate it when you pass me your fake smile just to "make me feel better". infact, i hate a lot of things about you. =D

eminem: hailie's song

yo, i can't sing it
i feel like singin'
i wanna fuckin' sing
cuz i'm happy
yeah, i'm happy
ha ha
i got my baby back
yo, check it out

some days i sit, starin' out the window
watchin' this world pass me by
sometimes i think theres nothin' to live for
i almost break down and cry

somtimes i think i'm crazy
i'm crazy, oh so crazy
why am i here, am i just wasting my time?
but then i see my baby
suddenly i'm not crazy
it all makes sense when i look into her eyes

somtimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders
everyone's leanin' on me
cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over
but then she comes back to me

my baby girl keeps gettin' older
i watch her grow up with pride
people make jokes, cuz they don't understand me
they just don't see my real side

i act like shit don't phase me
inside it drives me crazy
my insecurities could eat me alive
but then i see my baby
suddenly i'm not crazy
it all makes sense when i look into her eyes

somtimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders
everyone's leanin' on me
cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over
but then she comes back to me

man, if i could sing, i'd keep singing this song to my daughter
if i could hit the notes, i'd blow something as long as my father
to show her how i feel about her, how proud i am that i got her
God, i'm a daddy, i'm so glad that her mum didn't abort her
now you probly get this picture from my public persona
that i'm a pistol-packing drug-addict who bags on his momma
but i wanna just take this time out to be perfectly honest
cuz there's a lot of shit i keep bottled that hurts deep inside o' my soul
and just know that i grow colder the older i grow
this boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and harder to hold
and this load is like the weight of the world
and i think my neck is breaking should i just give up
or try to live up to these expectations?
now look, i love my daughter more than life in itself
but i got a wife that's determined to make my life livin' hell
but i handle it well, given the circumstances i'm dealt
so many chances, man, it's too bad, coulda had someone else
but the years that i've wasted is nothing to the tears that i've tasted
so here's what i'm facin'
3 felonies, 6 years of probation
i've went to jail for this woman, i've been to bat for this woman
i've taken bats to peoples backs, bent over backwards for this woman
man, i shoulda seen it comin', why'd i stick my penis up in?
woulda ripped the pre-nup up if i'd seen what she was fuckin'
but fuck it, it's over, there's no more reason to cry no more
i got my baby, baby the only lady that i adore, hailie
so sayonara, try tomorra, nice to know ya
my baby's travelled back to the arms of her rightful owner
and suddenly it seems that my shoulder blades have just shifted
it's like the greatest gift you can get
the weight has been lifted and ey

now it don't feel like the world's on my shoulders
everyone's leanin' on me
cuz my baby knows that her daddy's a soldier
nothin' can take her from me

woo!
i told you i can't sing
oh well, i tried
hailie, 'member when i said
if you ever need anything, daddy will be right there?
well guess what?
daddy's here
and i ain't goin'nowhere baby
i love you! [kiss]


fooyoh.

shareefah dah giler hari ni.


much rest is needed. i need redbull tonight. i really need wingss. T_T smile sha. smile. tears don't bring anything. yet smiling brings content to those who love you. life isn't all about love. yet without love, life is nothing.

i love 3/9e.
i really do.

today, somebody made me realise that i shouldn't be loving you, because i don't have any reason to love you anymore. i should be loving somebody who has always been there for me. not somebody who gives me false hopes and lies. then again.. this love i have for that somebody will be kept deep in my heart. only he and i will know of this love. and one day... he'll live happily ever after with the love of his life.


and i won't interfere.
cause i won't be able to. heh.
haiz. haiz. haiz..
sha faces a lot.
yet sha doesn't want to spill.
good or bad? blahs.
hmmm.. reminder!
you and me, nothing.


goodbye.

p/s: nothing i have is truly mine.
sorry, jumalia binte jeffrey.
don't hate me. cause i love you so.
and thank YOU. for making me feel better.
somehow. =)