Monday, April 16, 2007
"colgate tasting ice-cream [like i promised]"
hahs.
i can't believe i slept from 8pm all the way to 11.30pm. it's scary la, okay? considering the fact that both my sister and mummy went to sleep just as i woke up. so i'm the only person awake now. booooooooooooooooo.
wells.
today was rather interesting.
it made my MORNING when boyfie came up to me to talk before leaving for obs. huhu. yeah, he felt hurt. again. dammit. i'd have given you something if there weren't so many people around. T_T
shareefah bodoh lah!
T_T
i don't know how i got myself into it. a second i'm fine being alone, and the next thing you know, i'm getting stressed up because i don't know who to choose. hahah. yeah, literally. which reminds me of a conversation in class between me, afiq, khairul and addison. xD
sha: eh. abeh die tadi cakap ngan aku tau. sweet kannnnn?
afiq: ye lah ye lah. si die tu kan sentiase sweet..
khairul: eh, korang tgh cakap pasal siape ah?
sha: wahaha. adelah.. dah. jangan nak kpo2. huhu.
addison: *laughs*
afiq: kan si pompuan ni ade banyak peminat... sampai die kene choose seh. wahaha!
khairul: ish. biar betul? gitu pun boleh eh? kau bedek kann?
sha: ahaakz. ntah la. tapi seriously. aku terpakse choose. huhu.
chatting with afiq now. hahaah.
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wow
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hahaha
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tats coool
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kau ingat seh..
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aku da lupa da
hahaha. afiq kan sleng. nyeh nyeh. xP
yes!
good luck to chinese dance, choir and band for tomorrow's syf! :D all the best, yes yes? and drama club is on wednesday kann? good luck tooo! wheee~
and ouh goshies. public speaking was a horrifying nightmare. cikgu was love! she let us go early. xD and thank Allah i got shadrina, addison and fizzy back there with me. hahah! glad it's all over. and i think i'll never go on stage ALONE ever again. $#%^%$&$@!#$@#%$&. huhu. and divya's and hidayah's smses were really encouraging seh. thanks loads darlings! hearts!
and i miss hidayah already seh.
5 days tau! T_T huhu.
and i do hope divya's feeling better.
stupid bloody flu bug. grrr.
anyhoo! i've come to a conclusion that pressure can only be put on one's self BY one's self. walalallaa~ therefore, i refuse to think about any of the guys i've one way or another got myself involved with. blahs.
i can honestly say that i miss him a lot. but i've never been the type of girl who would get attached to her best friend. not in the past, not now, not ever. i know i'm hurting him. and it kills me to be hurting him. it may seem as if i'm an inconsiderate fool, but it's only for the best. maybe he's dumb enough to not understand my situation. fuck.
like i said:
"if you truly love somebody, you would want that person to be happy. you wouldn't be selfish and force that person to be with you."
force, as in, by subconsciously putting so much pressure on the person until the person feels suffocated and forced. deng.
so. is it wrong for me to have the freedom to choose? should i be selfish and choose MY happiness.. or should i stay the compassionate-sharifah i've always been and choose the person who i think will be the weakest without me? i mean, i don't want to hurt any of them. but. ahhhh!
can somebody woo me? no, i mean seriously. i miss that feeling. ahahaah. i mean, confessing your love to me is one thing. but then what happens next? ah. whatever crap lah.
and right.
don't say that i'm playing their feelings, can?
caust it's not my fault.
not my fault!
and sheesh seh. i wasn't blaming you! yes, it was my choice for choosing to wait for her and stay with you. but when the fuck did i blame you?! fuck seh.. i was feeling really shitty cause i felt that HE deserved to meet me more than you! and you only proved me right. *rolls eyes excessively* i SHOULD have met up with HIM. but i was kind enough to WAIT. cause i didn't want you to end up crying again. tu pun tak leh faham?! tsk.
dah ah.
goodbye.
p/s: i'm so sorry syarif daddy tersayangku.. blahs. meet up another day, then? i'm really, really sorry about just now. i hearts you a lot kay? =) [as a daddddddy.] deng.
you know you've got my ♥ ~
11:47 PM
11:47 PM