Designer: manikka
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"screwed up, yet again"

saturday

i loved it so cause i looked so nice. hehs. loads of thanks to kak nadiah and kak yussy for the make-upping. hoho. the dance went okay. received many comments. most were positive. =) the negative ones were due to her. =/ spent time with jean and haz in the afternoon. had a picnic again and took some pictures. i love them so. =)

sunday

went raya-ing with dad. i hate crying when i'm wearing contacts. i got a higher overall percentage than taufiq. hoho. the day went quite okay. talked about some stuff with kak narimah. =) and played with sparklers at night outside tok's house. with akasyah and taufiq of course. xP kak took pictures of us instead. hehs.

monday

met up with pris darling early in the morning and we shopped to de-stress. she bought me this adorable pink top. loves! =) went to give the option form, bumped into dd and han. waited for ash to come out and passed him his card. hoho. - i saw him. and it hurt so much. tears rolled down my cheeks while i was in the bus. i remember entangling our legs together at those seats.. - went there alone. it was raining and i felt so cold. i love seeing the 'waterfall' that we always looked at together. i just sat there. for 5 hours. i just sat there. waiting. listening to the song he used to sing to me. ouh. met asyiq in between too. he cheered me up. hahas. for one whole hour. we were talking crap under my block. he's a sweet darling. =) an emotional night. i confessed. scars on my wrist again. =/ with every good thing that happens, a bad thing will happen.

tuesday

chatted with khairani in the early morning hours. mum broke down on me right after she left. i felt so alone. i miss him. i love yohannis so. went swimming with her. loads of talk. loads of laughter. i love how i can relate to her although she doesn't understand what i'm feeling. that kind of understanding is amazing. best friends and soul sisters forever, my dear friend. =) reached home at around 9pm feeling so tired.




i miss syamil.
but not as much as i miss you.
those tears we cried together.
promises i still keep dear to my heart.
will you ever come back..?
i'm sorry.

hurt ~ christina aguilera

seems like it was yesterday
when i saw your face
you told me how proud you were
but i walked away
if only i knew
what i know today

ooh..
i would hold you in my arms
i would take the pain away
thank you for all you've done
forgive all your mistakes
there's nothing i wouldn't do
to hear your voice again
sometimes i want to call you
but i know you won't be there

ohh..
i'm sorry for blaming you
for everything i just couldn't do
and i've hurt myself
by hurting you

some days i feel broke inside
but i won't admit
sometimes i just want to hide
cause it's you i miss
you know it's so hard to say goodbye
when it comes to this
ooh..

would you tell me i was wrong
would you help me understand
are you looking down upon me
are you proud of who i am
there's nothing i wouldn't do
to have just one more chance
to look into your eyes
and see you looking back

ooh..
i'm sorry for blaming you
for everything i just couldn't do
and i've hurt myself
ohh..

if i had just one more day
i would tell you how much that
i've missed you since you've been away
oh, it's dangerous
it's so out of line
to try to turn back time

i'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
and i've hurt myself
by hurting you



i'm sorry, my dear. one year. with him. it has changed you completely. i miss you. i cry because of you. yet nobody knows. everybody thinks it's only because of syamil.. but you know the truth.. i'm sorry. i really am.

don't ask questions about this.
i'll keep it to myself.
i'll be strong.
you don't have to know.
nobody needs to know..


i was lying to myself.
i'm going to be on hiatus for quite awhile.
i have nobody.
happy now?

goodbye.